Best Sex Scene:  A History of Violence  (both the "on the stairs" scene AND the "cheerleader outfit" scene.  HOT.  But pretty much ANY sex scene that has Viggo in it is going to be high on my list.  There's on in "A Walk on the Moon" in a waterfall that's pretty amazing too.

Best Screen Kiss: Return of the King HANDS DOWN.  When Aragorn sees Arwen during the coronation ceremony.... BEST. KISS.  EVER!!!!  Though, one of my favorite movies of all times is an Italian film called "Cinema Paradiso" - and if you haven't seen it - YOU SHOULD.  Sweetest movie ever.

(there's a theme developing....)

Best Romantic Scene:  you'll think it's weird, but Bram Stoker's Dracula.  There's something about the whole "I've crossed oceans of time to find you" line, coupled with the amazing victorian garb, coupled with Gary Oldman's smoldering HOTNESS that makes this one my top romantic pic.  Though Moonstruck is also pretty high on my list in the "comedic" side of the continuum.

Most Heartbreaking (because of love) scene: maybe Love Actually, when Emma Thompson opens up the present from Alan Rickman and discovers that it's NOT what she thought it was... and that Joni Mitchell song "Both Sides Now" is playing, and she's in her bedroom trying to compose herself and OH!  ::sniff, sniff!::

a giant garbage truck that decides to BACK into your parking lot (which is right under your bedroom window) with the BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP just as you were about to REALLY get into the fantasy you were masturbating to?  My English teacher would fall over dead if she saw that run on sentence with a preposition at the end... but whatever, that bitch deserves it.


The answer is no.  No there is not.

I haven't posted anything sexual or sex-educational lately, and there's a reason.  I'm sure of it.  I'm just not sure what it is.  Could be that peri-menopausal symptoms are settling in again.  My period, as regular as it is time-wise is all over the place flow-wise.  Sometimes no spotting at all, sometimes I spot continuously from one period to the next.  The emotional signs are much more reliable nowadays.  It's not hurting me (most days), but it's just ANNOYING.  And being annoyed at your uterus doesn't make for the sexy-sexy feelings. 

Could be that I'm just worried about Ma~ and her ongoing issues at school... mostly with her teacher.  Last night she said something that struck us all as funny - but it was anything BUT funny to her.  She said: "if I don't bring my library book back I'll never get to check-out another book again."  I made mental note of it then, but this morning when she was in TEARS over not having the right book, I emailed the teacher and asked "whomever was threatening Ma~" to KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF.  Marshall putting the kai-bash on taking her to Panama upset me a heap too.  At least I managed to hold it together at our meeting with the Guidance Counselor the other day.  Geeze.

Zumba is going well, so I don't think it's that... although, where I used to find free mind-space for fantasizing, I now find only choreography.  So there's that too, I suppose.

All in all - it's just not been a sexy time.  Sorry about that. 

the buffalo steaks are thawing out right here beside me in my office.  they already look delicious. 

That is all.

So - if you know my ex-husband (the most recent one), you know that he is an exceptionally good and gentle man.  In fact, one of the reasons I divorced him was because he was such a fucking push-over.  Nothing turns me off like lack-of-spine in men or women.  Bleck.  So you'll maybe understand when I go OFF about the fact that he's saying "no" to one of my very few requests.

One of my best friends in the world lives in Panama.  More specifically, she lives in Bocas del Toro, a small archipelago on the caribbean coast of Panama's most northern province.  It's a 4 hour plane ride to Panama City, and about 45 minutes by smaller (but not tiny) plane to Bocas.  Seriously, you can get there faster than you can get to Seattle or LA.  I've been there at least 4 times now, and I know my way around.  We have our own private driver, for chrissakes.  But about a year ago, the ex decided to put his foot down about something and it just happened to be taking our daughter Ma~ to visit her Auntie Nicole in Bocas. 

According to the Ex's "state department" friends (???) it's much too dangerous for gringas to be traveling in Panama - a country that is stable, uses the American dollar as its currency, and still has a fairly substantial American military and ex-patriot population, and all the services that go with them.  She's too young, he says.  What if she gets hurt? he asks.  It's just too primitive and dangerous, he says.  Jesus fucking christ.

ok - FIRST OF ALL - the fact that I've been there many times and he STILL doesn't trust my judgment on this makes me more than a little IRATE.  SECOND - I could take Ma~ camping in West Virginia and be AS far away from medical care and basic services - and at least on Bocas, there are two helicopters to be used in any emergency.  There's a hospital (as basic as it might be) on the island, and you can actually buy prescription drugs at the pharmacy on main street (unlike the states where you'd have to get a doctor's prescription first).  THIRD - I can't even fucking BELIEVE how closed-minded and ignorant he's being about this.  I can't believe he'd deprive his daughter of these experiences based on irrational FEAR.  I'm just flabbergasted by this. 

He says he'll let her go when she's 10.  Maybe.  And as any of you with kids know... by then she won't give two SHITS about where she goes with her parents.  All she'll want to do is sit at home and talk to her friends from school.  I'm not saying it's now or never, but she'll never be 5 again... and that's the perfect age for mixing and mingling with other kids (of which there are SO many in Bocas) in the island paradise that is Bocas del Toro.  She'll never get that chance again.  I just can't believe he's too afraid to see it.

His vehement refusal this morning made me more upset than I would have guessed.  Not that I was in a great mood to begin with, given yesterday's work issues... but god DAMMIT.  The ex and I NEVER fight about stuff and this has REALLY just pissed me off.

Hi all.... QUESTION:

Does anyone have experience with a portable MP3 Player that's NOT a Mac product?  Ie, not a nano  or ipod or shuffle or whatever....   I need to buy one buy I'm not allowed to have itunes on my computer, and I don't know if those products are compatible with Windows Media Player.

Help???? 

I've not been in the mood for writing much lately... and frankly, all I really want to write about is Zumba and I'm sure everyone's had it up to *here* with that subject.  It *is* my journal though, so I shouldn't be hesitant to write about what turns me on no matter how sick-to-death everyone else is with it.  Still...     You get bullets instead.

• I am SO excited to see friend Michelle today.  She got pregnant earlier this summer and then had a miscarriage while we were off galavanting in Panama.  She couldn't really make up her mind about whether or not she wanted to be pregnant in the first place (before she got pregnant of course), so I kinda feel like it all worked out in the end.  Not that she wouldn't make a great mom, but it just doesn't FIT her lifestyle.  Course... she may get preggers again at any moment.  Honestly tho, I hope she doesn't.
• I'm also excited that Michelle's in town because I can finally introduce her to ferlonda & dadgaderie .  Maybe even TONIGHT!  McGinty's in downtown Silver Spring.  Be there or be square.
• Last night I got to go downtown to the old Atlas theater on H street (just down the street from BritishInk, actually), to the Joy of Motion dance studio.  I did Zumba with my former teacher Tanya.  Sigh!  I just love her.  I had so much fun... even though my music was not in the right order and I ended up doing two songs I hadn't planned on teaching.  Oh well.  It went ok.  The best thing (aside from seeing Tanya) was remember dance steps I already knew.  I wish I could have video taped it so I will absolutely remember!
• Today - Zumba at 12:15!  It's going to be a fun class.  I choreographed "Black Horse & the Cherry Tree" and it's super sex-a-licious.  Not quite as sex-a-licious as it was when I did my strip-tease for warriorsway ... but still pretty damned sexy.
• I got my new boots yesterday!  EEEEEEEEE!
• I also got to see inkygypsy last night since I just happened to be on H Street.  She's still out of her mind busy... but *is* starting to put up some boundaries for herself.  Proud.  And proud of the B-monster too, who's excelling at boot camp beyond all of our wildest dreams.  There's a rumor that the gypsy will be at faire on Sunday.  Shhhhhh....
• warriorsway is busy reading his GIGANTIC new farriering textbook.  As much as I'll miss him, I just can't wait for him to start school!  I so wish I could take the whole course with him.  How hot would that be?  Who could resist hiring us as a team?

That's all for now...

I sit here sipping on my rum and soda while butternut squash soup simmers on the stove and fills the house with sweet nutmegy goodness.  Figs are nestled in prociutto and await the broiler, only to be served over warm arugula.  Ferlonda and Dadgaderie's voices fill the room singing "Home by the Sea..."  The wind has settled and the mist is coming on.  Warriorsway and friend Dan will be here soon to join me.  I can't imagine much that would make it more ideal. 

bittibuddha ...... !!!!!! ?????   How come Skivvy gets Peach Pies and *I* DON'T!?!?!?!?!!?

::insert temper tantrum here::

1. I probably need to stop losing weight now.  I can't afford to keep replacing my entire selection of pants every 6 months.  I realize this is not a horrible problem to have.... I just need to keep an eye on it.

2. I really liked those Matilda button boots Frye has.  But for less than half the price, Miz Mooz (whose shoes I also adore) wins my business.  I haven't bought new black boots for myself (not dressy ones, anyway) in about 6 years.  I'm due.

3. I really am obsessed with Zumba right now.  It's ok.  I'm just nervous/excited about starting my classes and making sure folks don't get bored.  Alternatively, I have to make sure it's easy enough for people to LEARN as well.  It's amazing how difficult a few steps can be.

4. If we make it through the fall in decent financial shape, I'm finally going to schedule another sitting with Stacey at Atomic Cheesecake.  Fireman shoot.  Still looking for a good pole to use.... maybe something like this?


5.  It bums me out when long-time smoker-friends of mine stop smoking.  It's like losing a part of your relationship.  It's like we used to date, and we had all these inside jokes, and now your new girlfriend won't let us hang out anymore.  Bummer, man.  I mean, I'm happy for you... but a little sad for me.

6. the pork chops I made last night were EFFIN good.  The cauliflower, however... was less than spectacular for some reason.  Good, but not as robust as it usually is.  Perhaps it just paled in comparison to the chocolate chip cookies. (see number 1... must stop losing weight).

7. please, please, please be warm on Sunday!  I want to get at LEAST one more wear out of my orange bikini before the weather turns.  Dammit!

8. Must prepare for meeting.  Later....

So, I don't know if anyone got a picture of me in my orange-firey glory this weekend at faire (and I'm not asking for any, but thank you), but I have to toot my own horn and say that the new chain maille bikini went over pretty well.  Like, Princess Leah in the gold bikini well.  HAWT, even.  Then I found this picture on www.globalnerdy.com and had to post it.  tee-hee. 

Hello LJ.... I'm back.  How've you been?  I got back from vacation in Panama (all kinds of awesomeness, beach, booze, snorkeling, passionfruit lemonade, zumba and sparkly dresses) and had a small mountain of work to get caught up on.  To update you quickly, I'll break down all the news that's new and improved:

The GOOD News:

• My new boss actually managed to give me a direct report.  FINALLY.
• My new boss promptly left for vacation two days after I got back.  SWEET!
• WSC is finally doing paperwork to have me start instructing Zumba.  Wa-HOO!  Two classes to go to hit my target.
• I choreographed 4 new songs yesterday.
• I got my new faire outfit ready to go for Saturday's visit.
• Ma~'s doing great her first week of school!
• Warriorsway is all set for starting farrier school in October - and I'm SO proud of him.
• Dadgaderie & Ferlonda are HERE!  eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

The BAD News

• Yeah, I choreographed 4 new songs, but had to debut them already.  NOT what I had planned.
• I may actually freeze to death in my new outfit for faire.  Figures.  Stupid weather.
• Ma~'s new shoes and socks bill ran $200.  YIPE!
• We've got to be super careful spending money this fall.  I'll be bringing my own booze to faire this year, and starving myself to boot.
• October and November are going to be awfully lonely months for us!  sniff!
• I'm addicted to Gossip Girl.

That's about it for now... you're all caught up. 

warriorsway and I will be here for the next two weeks.  It's only a 5 hour flight, plus another hour in a puddle jumper.  Feel free to join us!  We'll be back around the first of September.  Maybe.  Ciao!



Al Natural on Bastimentos Island, Bocas del Toro, Panama. 

Anyone interested in buying a Microsoft SQL Server 2005, Standard Edition with 5 CALs?  I won it, and neither I nor my company has any use for it. 


The cheapest I've found online is about $1500.  I'm willing to go a lot lower than that.  Lemme know!  Comments screened.

Zumba training is over, and so is the surgery.  Both went off well, and without a hitch, but both have left me pretty listless and in need of more than one day of recuperation.  Regardless of my physical condition, I have to go down to Wheaton for 3 hours of CPR training this evening.  I have a two days to get ready for a board of directors retreat which will take up nearly my entire weekend, which, incidentally is my last few days with Ma~ before she (and we) leaves for vacation.  We're off to Panama for two weeks starting on the 15th.  I've got to choreograph and memorize at least 12 routines for my debut Zumba class on September 10th.  Meanwhile Ma~ starts kindergarten and a hundred other things have to get done so that warriorsway can start his Farriering class in October.

It'll all get done - and well - but it's a little overwhelming (and exciting!) at times.

Within the veritable chorus of personalities taking up space in my brain, lives a powerful teenager.  She's kind of like "Faith" from Buffy.  A totally rebellious bitch, rule-breaker, loner, doesn't need or trust anyone but herself, so you and your 'emotional baggage' can go fuck yourselves, thank you very much. She's all take and no give.  She's all now and no consequences.  She's dangerous, and she's got to be stopped.

I need to figure out what she really wants, how to deal with her, and fast.  Really fucking fast.  Before she ruins EVERYTHING.

Monday night, Ma~ and I got home from my mother's house and grocery shopping and spent a good half an hour putting shit away.  You know how it goes... you go to your mom's with a back pack and you return with a suitcase and three other bags of shit?  Right.  So we were looking for the movie mom gave Ma~, and in a wildly synchronized burst of mutual momentum, Ma~'s forehead collided with the left side of my nose.  ::insert cartoon birds flying around my head here::

Ma~ started to wail, and my concern went INSTANTLY to her, until blood started gushing out of my nose.  Which, of course, made her freak out even more.  This was all made more scary by the coincidental fact that Ma~ had been chewing on Snyder's Hard Pretzels at the moment of impact, so in my newly double vision, I thought those might be teeth falling out of her open, wailing mouth.  I put my hand up to cover my nose and asked her where she'd been hit.  I stood up and went to empty my bloody hands over the sink and asked her again.  She finally pointed to her forehead and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.  

Ma~ was scared, hurt, and more than a little afraid that she was in BIG trouble.  :-)  I tried my best to convince her that I was ok, and she was ok, until I saw myself in the mirror and realized that I needed to go to the hospital.  My long, straight nose had been crushed on the left side, and was now pointing decidedly RIGHT.  And of course... all this while warriorsway is out of town.  

Many hours in the ER later, I get a confirmation (but not an ice-pack, those bastards) that my nose is broken, a prescription for vicadan and the number of an ENT to go see the next day. The long and short of it is that I have to have my nose re-built on Monday (after I get back from my Zumba certification in Pittsburgh).  I'll have to wear a "nose cast" for at least a week after that.  Gods only know what my face will look like when it's all over.  Hopefully more Rembrandt than Picasso.

So, last night I received an email from a woman at Blue Heron Wellness.  It's a very nice yoga/acupuncture/general wellness studio right on Colesville Road by the Trader Joes.  Evidently, their bellydancing class has been so successful, that they're looking to add a Zumba class.  They contacted Tanya, my old teacher, who turned them down.  She did, however, give Blue Heron MY name and told them I'd be certified to teach come Aug 3.  (oh Tanya... could I love you ANY more than I already do?  evidently, YES).

I'm on my way up to Blue Heron shortly to meet with them and fill out forms and such. Tanya said that she was sad she couldn't take it because she had heard that they pay good money.  The usual gym rate is about $25 per class, which is NOT terribly good money.  So I'll be interested to see what's offered.  The upshot, though, is that I should be able to earn back the $350 certification fee in fairly short order.  And given warriorsway 's decision to go to Farriering School in PA this fall (I can't even TELL YOU how excited I am about THAT!), we'll be doing all we can to save and earn extra $. 

The class will be offered Thursday nights between September 10 & November 12.  It's a 10 week series and I'm not sure how much it will run participants, but WOW is it going to be fun.  Warriorsway will be around to take care of Ma~ for the first 5 weeks, and then Anti-Jen to the rescue!  She'll cover the last 5 weeks so mommy can bring home some extra bread. 

Now, if I can just line up two classes on Monday & Tuesday nights, and get paid for the one class at my own gym on Tues & Thursday afternoons, this *might* actually end up being profitable!

Don't know why... but Thai & Vietnamese always settle my stomach.  This is what I had for lunch today:

A vietnamese dish called the "golden crepe."  If you have not yet ever had the pleasure, indulge yourself.  They are full of yummy goodness, including sprouts, fresh mint, thai basil, slivers of cucumber, shrimp, shaved pork and god only knows what else.  And a lot less carbs than anything you can get that has rice or noodles in it.  

avocado, english cucumber & radish "slaw"
wilted arugala salad, tossed with roasted hazelnut & evo dressing.
creamy polenta with creme fraiche and sauteed shitakes & shallots.
crispy, panko & spinach encrusted sea bass, braised in butter and roasted with the remainder of the shallots.

Sound ok?